Heaven's Outcast
by colorguard-girl
Summary: "She is the friend in exile-the exile that is sure to be inflicted on the person who refuses to shut out the contradictions and discrepancies that the rest of the world conspires to hide." - Kathleen Damiani.  Warning inside, please read it!
1. Chapter 1

*******WARNING******* This story has mentions of rape, drug abuse, mental abuse and physical abuse DO NOT READ if you don't feel comfortable with this subject matter...

**"She is the friend in exile-the exile that is sure to be inflicted on the person who refuses to shut out the contradictions and discrepancies that the rest of the world conspires to hide." - Kathleen Damiani**

The darkness surrounded me, stifling bleakness. I didn't know where I was, it didn't matter as long as I was away from them. A cold breeze whipped by smattering me with the ice like rain, my bare feet seeping into the mud and mush of the forest floor, small twigs crunching into my heal delivering a painful stab each time. I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering trying to use friction to warm my battered body. It was useless my hands were just as cold as the rest of me.

Three gun shots rung out into the stillness of the night. I froze trying to listen, all I could hear was the rain pattering on the trees, and the cricks and croaks of the insects harboring themselves within the trees. Howling and growling dogs sounded in the distance and I knew I had ran out of time. They've discovered I'm missing.

The last grain in my hour glass has dropped. I started running then, I didn't want to die, I would escape the Reaper for as long as I could. My feet and muscles protested against the strain I was forcing upon it. I hardly had any energy left, they don't feed us often; to prevent the very thing I accomplished.

I ran harder as the I heard the dogs drawing near, the rags wrapped around my body snagging on claw like branched, scratching at my exposed arms and legs, my face luckily enough avoiding most of the damage. The pills rattling in my enclosed fist offered me my only comfort. If I was caught I would swallow all of ten of the long white pills making me overdose and die. My death was mine to control now, no more beatings, or starvation. The bloodletting would stop, my death would inevitably be painful, but mine to decide.

I was about to stop, with a smile on my face and just take the pills when I was tackled from behind. Warm hands snatched my arms and squeezed. I could feel my arms protesting under his strength. He turned me around and my tears cascaded down my sallow cheeks, I thought I was free, for once.

"Thought you could escape you bitch?" I knew this man well, he was one of my many captors, we were never told any of the men's names, we were only to refer to them as our masters.

I knew how his grungy blond hair felt between my fingers; I would pull his hair to try and get him to stop, it only excited him more.

I knew where each one of his teeth were; from when he would bite on my bare breast. He like to mark me as his, to make me bleed by his hand.

I knew what the gleam in his evil blue eyes meant; He was going to beat me into submission then take me on the spot.

Like he's done many times before.

His hands moved to my shoulders and he lifted my torso and slammed me back into the grime of the forest.

"Well you failed little girl, I will always own you. Until I've had enough of your tight little body. And when your stretched and useless we will kill you and move onto the next whore." He sneered spitting on my face. He removed one of his hands only to place his other forearm onto my throat. I started floundering under him unable to breathe as he dug into his pants pocket, with his free hand pulling out a few of those pills I had dropped when he tackled me.

He removed his forearm and shoved the pills into my mouth as I gasped for oxygen. I swallowed them convulsively, air flowed into my lungs when I only wished to die. My tormentor started to stand up when I seized my chance, lifting my knee I jabbed him in the groin. As he collapsed in pain I hoisted my self up and ran as fast as I could my adrenalin pumping thru my veins. I knew I only had a few minutes before the pills took affect and I would pass into a drug induced haze. I pushed myself harder, my heart hammered in my chest trying to beat from my rib cage.

I thought I was doomed when I felt the drugs taking effect, yet if by some miracle, I escaped from the woods onto a highway. I stopped in the middle of the road as my vision grew blurry and my energy finally drained me causing me to drop to my knees. In the distance I saw a car speeding down the road towards me and I smiled as I fell into darkness. The car was either going to run me over or stop, either way I was saved.

**I own nothing SM owns everything. Plot is mine though. I will update tomorrow after my drama practice promise! Please Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

When I started to come to I knew I wasn't back in that horrible forsaken place, I was too warm. Though at the same time I knew I wasn't dead I was in too much pain. My shoulders and back throbbed with my heartbeat and my hunger pains was eating away at my hollow insides. I opened my blurry and instantly squinted back as bright lights enveloped my irises. I started shivering in fear as I heard a door open and foot steps on what I assumed were hardwood floors. A cold hand suddenly wiped some of my dirty and tangled locks from my face then cupped my bruised cheeks. I flinched back expecting and waiting for pain.

"Rest child you are safe here. Just sleep you have drugs in your system and you must sleep them off." I instantly relaxed as the soft voice of a woman lulled my to sleep once again. A loud bang jolted me from my sleep. I sat up quickly and threw the blankets off my body and took of running. My adrenalin spiked again and I was able to find the doors out of this place easily.

Once out in the cold I took off faster, somewhat comforted in the familiar surroundings. I was tackled again by an ice cold body. Arms wrapped around me as I struggled and I finally snapped speaking my first words for years.

"No, No more stop. I won't do it, I won't submit. I refuse. Kill me, kill me now; just do it." I screamed at the top of my lungs. My voice shaky and rough from disuse. I struggled and fought against the cold steel like arms restraining me.

"Shh child please your going to hurt yourself, please relax. Your safe your never going to be hurt again." The same soft voice as before tried to sooth, but I didn't listen and struggled even harder as she picked me up and carried me towards the house.

"No" I wailed refusing to believe in my safety with her. "No I don't believe you, there's a bounty on my body and you just want your money you sick bitch." I kept my eyes closed the entire time, not waiting to see my fate when it came. When loud and deadly growls ripped across the large yard. My eyes snapped open expecting to see those vile and violent dogs. Imagine my surprise when all I see are five teenagers at the edge of the woods, all looking to be around my age glaring at my with death in there eyes.

"Stop everyone stop she's just terrified. Hush little one I promise no one will ever hurt you again. Please forgive my children they're overprotective of family. Now please stop struggling you'll only hurt yourself." Finally I gave up, I was too tired and hungry to fight any longer. Quicker then I knew we were back in the warmth. I was then settled into a long comfortable couch. I bunched my legs together and rested my forehead on them as tears drifted down my weathered face.

"Follow me dear." The woman said from in front of me with her pale hand sticking out towards me. As I took her hand I stared at her beauty, it wasn't just the physical stuff that drew me in. It was her friendly brown-ish gold eyes. They reminded me of autumn leafs, I missed watching the seasons change; we didn't get out much and even as a little girl the multi-colored leafs had always fascinated me. Then there was her smile it was wise in a 'I know better then you look' without being condescending. A mothers smile for sure.

I sighed I missed my mother and my father I hadn't seen them in seven years. What if they forgot about me, what if they didn't want me anymore. After all I wouldn't be their little girl anymore, now all I was is a used whore.

The smell of warm food had my stomach growling and my mouth salivating. The woman sat me down in a chair with a plate full of simple pasta and tomato sauce. I used the knife offered to me and cut the noodles into bite sized pieces and started eating. It was the best thing I have ever eaten, _ever_. And I wasn't just saying that, my mother was never able to cook and most of our family dinners were either hardly edible burnt _stuff_ or take out. I had just started taking over kitchen duties when I was taken from my home. I often still wonder how my parents were doing.

"Please child tell me your name?" The woman asked. I swallowed what was in my mouth and debated. What was the worst that could happen my death? I was still hoping for that.

"Isabella, but I go by Bella." I said quietly. I started eating again, not sure when I would eat again and so I wouldn't have to speck again.

"Well Bella I wish we could have met under better circumstances but non the less I am glad to have met you. I'm Esme Cullen by the way. It's only right for you to know my name. If you don't mind me asking what's your sur-name perhaps we could find your family." The woman- Esme hedged. I smiled a small smile as I shrugged.

"I can't remember my last name." I whispered.

"How can you possibly not remember your own name?" A male voice called out. Instantly curved myself inward trying to make myself as small as possible. I dropped my fork and tucked my hands into my lap. My head tilted downward as my hair covered my face. I had to be submissive, I was nothing compared to men, all men would be better then me and deserved my utmost respect at all times. Even when I thought they were wrong. These were simple rules that all of the girls were taught at that place. They were rules that kept us alive and breathing. The ones who refused were starved, beaten and finally put to death.

"Well are you going to just sit there or answer him?"

"Rosalie enough." Esme spoke out. I had refused to look up. I didn't want to meet anyone else or come into contact with more people then I had to. But when this Rosalie spoke out my fists clenched in anger, she didn't understand.

"Esme, we've taken her in and put us all in danger. We know what could happen to us if were not careful. We've seen what this- this girl has reduced Edward and Jasper into. And this is Edward we're talking about out of all of us he's effected the most. Not to mention there are people out there who want her a lot. Then she has the nerve to say she can't remember her last name? How do we not know she's not just a runaway who was in way over head" She demanded. With that I snapped.

"I was kidnapped from my home when I was ten. Last I remember my father was the chief of police, apparently he pissed some people off and they took there're revenge. What better way to get to the man in that type of power then to prove that he can't even keep his own child safe. When I was ten, men took me away and put me in this small room, then took turns beating me.

I begged them to stop and they did, instead they starved me. They refused to feed me until I learned my placed. But I always refused, then a year later was when- was when he. Oh god when I was eleven they raped me for the first time. They made it hurt and it was brutal. I was the worst attack they had in years, they needed me to be an example to other girls, an example of what would happen when we refused our masters. And it worked even on me, I gave up. So I'm sorry if me not being able to remember my last name is such a problem for you. I've been so concerned with learning the Rules and something as simple as my last name just slipped my mind." I sobbed out. That wasn't even the worst of it.

"Bella, dear perhaps you would like to take a shower?" Esme asked placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I nodded and whipped the tears from my eyes, embarrassed for breaking down like that. As we walked passed everyone I refused to meet anyone's gaze not even the girl who I yelled at. I'm such a failure I couldn't even look at the person I was yelling at. What has become of me? Even at ten years old I never let anyone talk to me like that.

Esme showed me to the guest bedroom and how to work the shower. At first I was insulted, I might have been taken and reduced to nothing but that of less then an animal but I stilled bathed and tried to stay as clean as I possibly could given the resources I had. But when Esme showed me the shower I understood. There were so many shower settings I could have never gotten it by myself. I thanked her as she handed me towels and a bunch of nice smelling soaps and shampoo's.

I pulled the lever turning on the water and pressed the right buttons until the water was perfect. I washed the dirt and debris from my hair and washed in some sweet smelling cherry shampoo. I had forgotten how wonderful a shower could be when men weren't leering at me. I rubbed the soap between my hands relishing in the silky feeling of the suds drifting down my elbows as I lathered up. Once I was done with my shower I was shocked to see a new pair of pajamas sitting on the bathroom counter. I quickly dressed, silently appreciating everything Esme has done for me. I opened the door to the room Esme had offered me and settled into a less then peaceful sleep.

**Sorry it took me longer then expected to update we've been practicing later then usual but everything is going great. So Bella is going to be taking her time with meeting each of the Cullen's, right now she can't trust everyone she hardly trusts Esme. As always please review!  
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